Are his eyes always that big? the young and energetic instructor asked as we
walked thru a gray plastic baby gate and into the colorful padded room of Gymboree. Why yes,
yes they are, although today they may be a bit more sleep deprived and a tad
more wide eyed than usual, I thought to myself...
Park has never seen as many babies roaming the foam and singing
silly songs, as he did today in his first Gymboree “Play & Learn” class.
In the early days of newborndom, I felt sad and frustrated that, aside from the local park and mall play area, our rural town did not have community meet up groups or resources for youngins and their caretakers. I desperately and intentionally sought out community outside the doors of our awesome church, asking every mother, grandmother and checker that I passed in the aisles of the local children's consignment store where in the world the mamas met! Little Gym? Stroller Strides? PEPS? Anyone? Anywhere?
After weeks of asking, and receiving nothing but blank stares, I finally spoke with an active Le Leche League member, who recalled there once was a walking group in town, however she believed it lost funding last year and no longer met. Why a walking group would need any sort of funding is lost on me, however my larger concern was why our rural town did not have ANY intentional community established for children and their families to grow, connect, and support one another. But before I begin writing a thesis regarding the need to promote healthy families and communities thru providing resources, knowledge and access to opportunities for the underserved, let's fast forward to today...
Does he socialize much with other children? the twenty-year-old Gymboree instructor, whose name tag colorfully read "DANNY!" asked as
my usually-extroverted son clung tightly to my leg. Ya got me DANNY! You got me. I haven’t properly socialized my first
born son and yes, we spent the first thirteen months of his existence hibernating
inside our rural rental home, watching the Muppet movie while fiercely fighting eating and sleeping;
the baby survival essentials. Is it that obvious? And will the other mamas know from a passing glance that we're new to this whole thang?
Let's just be honest. Moving every 6-12
months ain’t great for the social life. We have
been BEYOND blessed by friendships we’ve made in the tiny towns we’ve lived in
thus far, however packing up and leaving new friendships every few seasons gets exhausting. Committing to investing in each new town and neighborhood sometimes
feels daunting. If we’re only going to live here for six short months, should I
invest this time?
Yes. The answer is and will always be yes.
Whether we live in a town for a month, a decade or a
lifetime, my husband, kiddo and I will always choose to invest. To plant a
root, no matter how deep time allows it to grow. Because we are humans who
crave community and growth. We need to connect and we want to connect.
So as insecure as I felt walking out of the Gymboree doors
to three mamas happily chattering away about Montessori education,
five-day-a-week swimming lessons, and baby yoga, it hit me. I’m new here, and although I’ve been a mama for thirteen months, this month, in this new town,
starts Parker, Jordan and I off on a new adventure; one that will be filled with diverse opportunities and beautiful people and places to learn about. One where mothers sometimes enroll
their babies in five-day-a-week swimming lessons and redefine the term stay-at-home mom. Because with so
many baby classes penned into their weekly agendas, it really doesn’t sound
like these Gymboree mamas spend much of their time at home.
I’d be lying if I said my first mama and me class didn’t
make me feel a bit sad and insecure in my mothering. Is it okay that Park and I
hunkered down the first year of life and settled into our rural routine,
completely absent of child’s pose and infant swimming lessons? Is my kiddo
forever stinted in his development because we did not enroll him in Montessori
pre-pre-preschool? And then there's the more important questions rolling around in my head as I wind down this
evening...what do Parker and I need during this season in our story, as he is
growing into a toddler and I am continuing to evolve as a mother? Where will we invest this time? How will I
confidently and creatively meet Parker’s needs in our new community, without
striving to keep up with the Joneses and feel pressure to be a stay-at-home mom
who never stays at home?
Oh Gymboree, you threw me for a loop today. With your
colorful play mats, germ infested plastic balls, and silly little songs. You were absolutely awesome, and we were entirely overwhelmed. But you bet you’ll be seeing us again soon, with our wide eyes and awkward smiles. Because
we’re new in town, and need to grow some new roots, while we play & learn with others along the way...
